Varric Tethras - Inbox

[hugeinorlais]

(Varric's IC Inbox, for all letters, notes, fan-mail, death-threats, and other such correspondence. All messages from Sebastian Vael will be summarily ignored and placed into the Sebastian Vael pile.)

Comments

A PRESENT

[amygdalae]

[One evening when Varric goes to his usual spot in the Great Hall he'll see a new addition to the rest of his things: a single book. Should he decide to pick it up he'll see the title right on the cover:

Templar Tomfoolery: Saucy Little Tales from the Barracks

--which pretty much says what it is; a rather saucy book that Varric probably knws had been banned from the Chantry. Turning it open will see that it is compiled by a Senior Enchanter Wentworth Higginbottom, and that there is a note that had been tucked underneath the cover.]

Mr. Tethras -
I found this book lying around in Skyhold and I think you would appreciate this more than anybody else. Consider it thanks for the new copy of Hard in Hightown that you gave to me a while ago. I Hope you enjoy it.

[The note is finished with a simple 'Bruce' at the corner. Varric is totally free to flip through the pages, and if he does so he'll see that some of the names have been replaced with the names of the resident Templars now in Skyhold. That however wasn't done by Bruce's hand, as a quick check of the handwritings will tell.

Either way, the book is now in Varric's possession. He can enjoy it as much as he wants.]

Written, current

[fleurdesel]

[ Enclosed with a list of various texts on Spirits and Possession. ]

Varric,

I know you've some network of one manner or another for the discreet acquisition and distribution of various goods. Emphasis on discreet. To that end I have included a list of texts, both books and scrolls, that would be useful in a current research endeavor of mine. If you hear or see anything here, could you send it my way? I will pay whatever you ask so long as it's reasonable.

With regards,

A. LeBlanc

Written, delivered very promptly in an unmarked, wax sealed envelope.

[hugeinorlais]

Given that this is the "discreet" variety of research related endeavor, I'm going to assume that I probably shouldn't ask too many (i.e. any) questions.

Some of these are a little eclectic, nobody would be willing to part with them for anything that would qualify as reasonable, but I'll see what I can do. Two or three of these are easy to come by, though. I'll have them delivered to Skyhold c/o yours truly.

--V

Returned in much the same, with the addition of a swirled, almost playful V in the upper left corner

[fleurdesel]

V-

Discretion is deeply appreciated. If things become unreasonable for some but not all I can likely cover the cost. The benefits of having noble backing suddenly interested in me once more. Thank you for this, truly.

With regards,

A. LeBlanc

Sending crystal - during the hullabaloo with Alayre

[mythalenaste]

All right, Varric, your next villain: a mad Knight-Commander who slaughtered everyone under his care for not being faithful enough. A purging of sorts.

Sending crystal - during the hullabaloo with Alayre

[hugeinorlais]

Pretty sure I already wrote that one, dragonling. People will accuse me of recycling plots.

[mythalenaste]

Why not? You recycle everybody else's plots, why not your own?

[It's a joke, promise.]

[hugeinorlais]

[Yeah, he can hear the joking in her tone. Still, it's a bit close to home and he can't quite hide the extra bit of emotion in his dry chuckle.]

Not sure I can come up with a better hero for the second time around.

If I'm going to recycle a story it should at least be better than the first, right?

Sending crystal, shortly after Alayre

[justice_is_blond]

I've gotten some playing cards with dirty drawings for the face cards. When I'm back, I'm bringing them over and letting you beat me.

[As if Varric needs Anders to let him win.]

Sending crystal, shortly after Alayre

[hugeinorlais]

Blondie, I could be sobbing my eyes out and I'd still have a better poker-face than you.

[He's not sobbing. But, hey, you get the picture.]

Bring that deck along anyway. I never turn down art appreciation.

[justice_is_blond]

You would. But you wouldn't be able to see my face through the tears. I'll bring onions too. And the worst poetry I can find in the library, anything I can use for an advantage.

[hugeinorlais]

[Okay, that earns a laugh out of Varric. It's a little short, basically a bark of laughter, but it's not nothing.]

Shit, might as well just wear a bag over your face and cut out some eye-holes so you can see the cards.


Or don't. I mean, it's not like knowing what you were holding ever helped you win.

[justice_is_blond]

Now you're just being unkind.

[But there's a little amusement in his voice.]

I've no desire to wear a bag over my head, despite how much safer it could make me if someone else walked in. Surely you can come up with a better idea than that. You're an author.

[hugeinorlais]

Blondie, I'm touched. You've actually read Swords and Shields and you still have that much faith in my creative ideation?

[Let him think for a moment.]

How do you feel about Orlesian Masks? I'm sure someone has one I can swipe for an afternoon.

[justice_is_blond]

Don't let it get to your head.

[There are some better works. There are also a lot of worse ones, and he doesn't have the heart to be an ass when Varric's just been through crap publicly. Anders is calling to try to be the friend he hasn't been. It's not an easy task. He can feel old habits and Justice's influence pressing in - he's still a danger, still who he is, but there are a few people who deserve better. He takes a breath and works on another joke.]

Incidentally, I've been looking for a way to piss off Vivienne. Arguing with Loyalists is one of my favorite activities. A mask could be the perfect opportunity. Let's try that.

[gatheringstorm]

Just so you know: you're my new hero, for the way you spoke to that pompous, self-righteous Templar asshole earlier. It was a thing of beauty, and I'd love to buy you a drink or few the the next time we can get together. You more than deserve it.

[hugeinorlais]

Well, shit. I've never been anyone's Hero before. You're going to make me blush, Freckles.

I'll take you up on that offer, though. Maker knows I could use a drink or two.

[gatheringstorm]

Maybe that's the plan.

And good. I'm open to it here or back in Skyhold; what's available in the Herald's Rest is far superior, but the way things have been going, I can't blame you for not wanting to wait until then.

[sending crystal]

[arlathvhen]

[ When Beleth speaks, her voice is quiet and timid. Docile, because she messed up and now Varric is upset, and she has to fix that. ]

...Varric, I'm sorry that I wasn't very nice to your friend.

[ She's not strictly sorry about being a jerk to Dorian, but she's sorry that it was Varric's friend that she was a jerk to. ]

I wasn't trying to say anything against the Herald, I promise. I wasn't trying to agree with Alayre, either. I mean, I'm...not really the chantry's, um. Biggest fan. Someone had to explain to me what the Divine was.

[ Pause. Clear throat. Continue. She wants to continue her explanation, tell him that she just wanted to stop the arguing. But that would make it sound like she was trying to excuse her behavior. ]

But--It doesn't matter what I was trying, because what I accomplished was hurting your feelings. And that's not acceptable. So--I'm sorry, Varric. And if you don't forgive me, I understand, because I did something without thinking of how it would effect the people around me, and that's not acceptable either. But I just wanted to let you know that--I'm sorry.

[hugeinorlais]

[Now that he's had a few to cool off, he feels a bit awkward about how hard he'd shut Beleth down. She'd been egging Sparkler on, but he hadn't pulled that proverbial punch. She hadn't deserved how curt he'd been and he does feel a little remorseful for that.]

Yeah...it's alright, kid.

I'm not usually the kind of guy who scolds people for arguing, and Sparkler certainly doesn't need me to fight his battles for him, I just--

[He makes a noncommittal, slightly strained humming sound.]

I get touchy about things when people talk shit about my friends, especially dead ones. I was pissed at that dumbass templar and you got caught up in my bad mood.

How about we just...call it even and go back to being friends?

[arlathvhen]

I deserved it.

[ It's said with resignation. She did something bad, a bad thing happened. Her fault, she had it coming. ]

I'm sorry about your friend, Varric. I never met her, but everybody I've spoken to that has says she was very nice.

[ She did go on a mission to try to find the Herald's body! But she found rifters instead. She doesn't tell Varric that. ]

I'd--um. Like to go back to being friends, though. If that's alright. I still think you're really cool.

Sending Crystal

[justice_is_blond]

Varric, when you've a minute, I wanted to speak with you. Warn you, really, and ask a favor.

[hugeinorlais]

Warning and asking a favor? Combining those never bodes well.

Who'd you set on fire, Blondie?

[justice_is_blond]

They don't, do they. I'm not... [he pauses, frowning at the crystal.] Detlef. I'm essentially setting Detlef on fire. And I'm worried that a few people of mutual acquaintance may put themselves at risk trying to help me, as well as concerned about an encounter some days back between you, me, and a certain Seeker.

[hugeinorlais]

[Varric makes a strained sound that isn't quite an objection on it's own, but definitely the next door neighbor of one. For a lot of reasons, Varric hadn't expected Anders would try to turn himself in. He had quick responses for almost every situation but this was not among them.]

Andraste's ass.

You're serious?

[There's a thread of skeptical hope in there and Varric clung to it for dear life. Maybe Blondie was playing a joke on him, he used to have a sense of humor, right?]

Are you not at all worried about the people who will try to stab you? Trust me, there's quite a few of them, and I can't say aiding and abetting you will win me any favors. [He lets out a decidedly anxious breath and mutters, with the distant air of a man who had just stared down certain death and was not looking forward to a repeat of it:] Cassandra's going to run me through--

[justice_is_blond]

I think the Grey Wardens will at least stab me quickly.

[He's trying for a little bit of humor there. He isn't quite sure he manages.]

I'm sorry, Varric. If I could have kept from running into you and getting you involved... There are days I think I shouldn't have come back, but I needed to. I needed to see. And to help. If even just for a short time.

sending stone

[mythalenaste]

I wrote a book. And a pamphlet. I need to know how to publish them.

sending stone

[hugeinorlais]

You did? Well, shit, congratulations.

Pamphlets are easy, I can send you some credentials from a few print makers.

Books require a print house, so they're a little trickier. I think the closest one is either in Kirkwall or near Orzammar; I'll check with my editor and see who hasn't got a wait list longer than the Chant of Light.

So what'd you write about, Snapdragon? Anything interesting?

omg that is the perfect nickname

[mythalenaste]

It's...it's about the Dalish. A cultural ethnography, from our viewpoint. I think if I'm quick, it can be published for a bit before the new Divine bans it.

ISN'T IT, I love it.

[hugeinorlais]

Huh, imagine that, a cultural ethnography written by someone who isn't an old Orlesian lord.

If you've got a draft I'll send it along when I question my editor; if anyone can get anything published in a hurry, it's her.

[mythalenaste]

I have...one draft. Just the one. She'll send it back if she rejects it, won't she?

[hugeinorlais]

Reject it? Why would she reject it?

[Varric is obviously baffled, here. This was not a possibility he'd even entertained. He'd hired Pel as a reader after all; if she'd suddenly forgotten how the Trade Tongue worked, he had bigger problems than a few typos in a draft.]

Of course she'll send it back, but they have to get the plates made up first.

[mythalenaste]

All right. [She sounds terribly nervous, for Pel.] Let me bring it to you.

[hugeinorlais]

Don't worry so much, kid. You'll get it done and get your copy back, I guarantee it.

[In a slightly quieter voice, which is ridiculous because they aren't being overheard anyway:]

All good print houses are dwarven, anyway. I don't know much about the stone and all that stuff, but dwarves don't just destroy books. That's more of a human thing.

[mythalenaste]

How long does it usually take?

i'm sorry

[chainlightning]

Varric? I'm supposed to ask you to please not stab or otherwise injure, maim, or kill Zevran if he "has" me.

Thank you!

Never apologize ever.

[hugeinorlais]

[What does he even say to this? Are there even words to say to this?]

I will...try my best, Daisy.

:'D

[chainlightning]

Oh, and don't pay anyone else to do it either. Or ask them.

But thank you very much! It's rather hard to get to do things if everyone's worried someone is going to stab them.

[trouvaille]

( although katell successfully stopped gwen from continuing the conversation, she did not manage to persuade her it would be a terrible idea to make good on promises made during, which is why the orlesian elf maid delivers to varric contact details for comte emeric vauquelin, a patron of the arts primarily based in halamshiral.

she does not wait for a reply. )

[hugeinorlais]

[Varric, who is feverish and annoyed when he discovers the message (some time after the argument) simply stares at the missive for a few minutes before tossing it, summarily, into the Sebastian Vael pile. He then promptly returns to bed.

If there are such things as Spirits of Irritation, he assumes they'll probably start forming any minute and, frankly, he'd rather be sleeping and far away from the Fade when they do.

He will absolutely regret this exchange come morning.]

Sending Crystal - 28th Bloomingtide

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Hello Varric, I'm still alive.

[Sounding tired, worn out and beaten up, but alive.]

Just so you know, so is Aveline, Isabela, and everyone else. I hope you're still alive up there in Weisshaupt - you'd better be or I'll be there in a week to turn everyone into a frozen statue. I mean it. I might have to crawl there, but I will.

By the by, I have a brilliant idea for a new romance novel for you, if you ever want to tread those boards again. Please, please be alive so you can laugh at my horrible idea.

Crystal, I meant to do these like two weeks ago...

[justice_is_blond]

Thank you for helping try with the ritual. I hope not too many people pressed you for truth? Seeing as I didn't have to heal anyone from crossbow bolts in the day or two after, I'm assuming they didn't.

crystal; I'm so sorry

[eviscerates]

Varric, it's Ruby.

( Does she sound mischievous? She sounds a little mischievous. )

How do you feel about friendly competition?

sending crystal.

[shieldwalls]

[ and Aveline has put this off long enough, she supposes. Time to keep her end of this bargain. ]

Varric. I have... [ trying and failing not to sound as hesitant as she seems-- ] a small favor to ask of you.

sending crystal.

[hugeinorlais]

[It was a good thing that these crystals didn't just pick up stray sounds when you weren't using them--suddenly hearing Aveline's voice, out of the blue, was a bit startling. Fortunately he was not, at the moment, engaged in anything suspect.]

Oh? Now you have me curious. What can I do for you?

[shieldwalls]

It's... Maker, this isn't easy to ask, but. It's regarding that serial you wrote. The romance one.

[ there's a bit of a pause here. You may want to sit down Varric, if you aren't already. ]

I've met someone who enjoys the blasted things and I might have told them that I'd speak to you about writing more.

[hugeinorlais]

...Wait-- [Varric takes a second to comb over the titles in his mind. There's no way--]

You? You told someone you'd speak to me...about writing more of that serial? The one with...not-you on the cover?

Wait--someone enjoyed Swords and Shields?

[He sounds positively floored by this discovery.]

[shieldwalls]

Yes. Don't make me regret this any more than I do.

Trust me, I couldn't believe it either. But she didn't know who I was, when she saw me. Only that I was the, um... Knight Captain of your novels.